By Lisa Angelettie
My husband and I went to see a very popular stand-up comedian who started telling a few jokes about things that men typically say to women they are involved with.
One that struck a chord with me, was how when many men go out with their friends, they often come home saying that they had an “okay” time. Meanwhile - they probably had a blast, but just don’t want to tell us. I looked over at my husband after the joke and he even had to laugh and said, “Yeah, I say that too. I just don’t want you to feel bad.”
So that led me on a fact-finding mission! What other lies to men tell us? What types of typical responses do we need to look out for?
1. I Love You Too
When it comes to these words, I always instruct women to proceed with caution. They are thrown around so easily these days. And unfortunately if you have just begun seeing this man OR he asks for something after he says it…you may have a liar on your hands. I must admit that I used in my youth as well - to emotionally blackmail the person I was seeing. Men use this trick as well.
2. It’s Not You, It’s Me
We hear this cliche in movies all the time, and we all groan at the woman in the movie. Yet many of us fall for this line when a guy simply is not interested in us and wants to get out. Really - it is you. He’s just not interested. So - move on.
3. We’re Just Friends
This may be a bit controversial, but I don’t believe in platonic relationships between men and women. That’s right I said it! I believe there is always some level of attraction or possibility there - on someone’s part. Maybe not both. And if there isn’t ANY attraction whatsover, I think that these people conveniently only keep in touch during holidays - not on a regular basis. So if there is a woman, a heterosexual woman, in your man’s life on a regular basis - don’t trust the words. Especially if he is defensive.
4. I’ll Call You
Sometimes it’s the wording of this typical lie that gives it away. I’ll call you or I’ll call you tomorrow are usually ways of just ending the current conversation or visit cordially. It doesn’t literally mean that he will call tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. Now if he says, “Can I call you?” that usually means that you should expect a call rather soon. He’s still a little intimidated by you, and very interested.
Bottom line - trust your gut gals. If it feels like just like a line, it probably is.
© 2008 Lisa Angelettie MSW
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Lisa Angelettie MSW, “GirlShrink”, is the creator of the “Relationship 911!” System.
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